


uU Yogurt - Six Years Later

by Sonamae



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/F, Humanstuck, M/M, Sequel, Yogurt Shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 07:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15238533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonamae/pseuds/Sonamae
Summary: A very short look at the uU Yogurt cast six years later.





	uU Yogurt - Six Years Later

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [uU Yogurt](https://archiveofourown.org/works/474470) by [Sonamae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonamae/pseuds/Sonamae). 



“Welcome to uU Yogurt, where you serve and you top. Did you find everything alright?” Calliope was behind the counter with her genuine smile on. Dirk could see her in his laptops reflection. Across from him, Caliborn was typing furiously on his phone with a small scowl on his face, occasionally muttering soft curses under his breath. He was dealing with business then, Dirk knew that scowl well enough by now to know that someone at work was being stupid.

“There is one thing I didn’t find.” Roxy’s voice was sweet as she sidled up to the counter. Dirk could _hear_ her smiling. “Your number.”

“Oh goodness, are you flirting with me miss?” Calliope couldn’t help but giggle.

“You’ve been married for _two_ years.” Caliborn called from his spot, never looking up. “Doesn’t this _ever_ get old?”

Roxy just looked back and grinned. “No, does fighting with Dirk ever get old?”

“We don’t fight anymore.” Caliborn muttered. And honestly that was… mostly true. Nowadays they just bickered and teased one another.

“Uh huh.” Roxy turned away and started talking to Calliope in soft whispers, all delight and sugar. Those two hadn’t come off their honeymoon high since the day they’d met, and it would have been gross at first, if Dirk hadn’t been so happy for them. He had bigger things to worry about right now though, like this stupid _launch._

Focusing back on his laptop he waited for the page to load, absently reaching for his drink. Only his opposite hand reached in the other direction. Caliborn looked up, eyebrow raising in question. ‘Are you alright?’ Spoken without a sound.

“Stress.” Dirk said, letting his arm drop. “It’s the launch. The page isn’t refreshing.” Caliborn nodded and pushed off his couch, walking around the table to sit next to Dirk and lean against his side.

“Chill.” Caliborn looked back at his phone and huffed. “God, how are people so fucking stupid.” Dirk hummed and let his head fall on Caliborn’s shoulder as he began reading. “How does one person lose four-hundred pounds of actual, honest to god _shit_? I’m being dead to rights _fucking_ serious here. How do three trucks full of grade A cow shit disappear off the face of this mediocre fucking planet. Not just the shit either, all three trucks _and_ their drivers?” Caliborn let out a seething breath.

“You live such a glamorous life.” Dirk muttered. “Do you need to file a missing persons?”

Caliborn shook his head. “Can’t yet, they’ve only been missing for three hours. Could be traffic, could be wrong directions.” He dropped his phone into his lap and threw both his arms back so they framed the couch. “I never should have taken this job.”

“You love ordering people around.” Dirk said through a soft smile.

“Smart people are easy to move, they’re like chess pieces.” Caliborn mimed moving a chess piece across a board.

“Do you even know how to play?” Dirk wondered.

“I say move, they start marching.” Caliborn barreled on. “The competent ones that work for me are the best, no gripe, no gruff. I give them a task, they do it, they get paid. It’s these fucking idiots like...” he lifted his phone and squinted at the screen, “Borris Jotfield.”

“What a fucking gift you’ve given me by saying that out loud.” Dirk grinned even wider.

“This shit pickle couldn’t find his way out of an overturned paper cup with directions and an open door.” Caliborn let his phone fall back into his lap.

“Then fire him.” Reaching over, Dirk tried to refresh the webpage again.

“Not until I find my drivers.” Caliborn closed his eyes and let out another sigh. “This was supposed to be an easy job, I should just hire other people to order people around for me.” Dirk snorted. “You’re right, I enjoy this way too much to give anyone that much power.”

“I love you.” Dirk turned his head and caught Caliborn in a soft, quick kiss. “I’m loosing my mind though, the launch is supposed to be in...” he glanced at the clock on his laptop, “three minutes. The website isn’t working and my entire line goes on sale in three minutes.”

“Want me to punch it better?” Caliborn asked, entirely sarcastic.

“With your delicate sensibilities? I wouldn’t want you to break a nail.” Dirk said flatly. “Or heaven forbid, break your finger.”

“I’ll break your finger.” Caliborn muttered as he flicked Dirk’s ear.

“How, by sitting on it?” Dirk stuck his tongue out and Caliborn rolled his eyes before he leaned in to press a kiss to Dirk’s temple. “Hey, don’t try and butter me up, I don’t _have_ to suck your dick later.”

Caliborn just smirked. “Uh huh.” He leaned over and slapped Dirk’s hand away from the laptop, then clicked refresh. Dirk nudged him in the ribs, but stared at the screen as it reloaded and finally pulled up the countdown for the page. “Would you look at that, magic fingers.” Caliborn said with a smirk as he wiggled his fingers at Dirk.

“My prostate has to agree.” Dirk replied with a shrug.

“Wow. We. We are in public.” Caliborn shook his head and used one hand to cover his face. He was grinning anyway. They’d come a long way since they’d first started dating.

Dirk just hummed and lifted his glasses so he could rub at the bridge of his nose. No poker face today, no need for a game, he was stressed enough without having to remind his muscles how they were meant to work. This wasn’t even that big of a deal, but for some reason launching this clothing line, his first line, was stressing him beyond his limit.

Roxy laughed behind him, bright and sweet, and he turned to see her trying to balance one of the spoon ends on her nose. Calliope rolled her eyes but smiled adoringly at her, the big wavy curls bouncing when she chuckled.

“You’re a mess.” Calliope decided.

“Yeah but I’m your mess.” Roxy countered before she held out both arms when the spoon stayed in place. “Get a picture of this glory.” Dirk turned back to his laptop and let out a slow breath. Everything was fine, life was normal, this was… this was _normal_. After all those years of absolute bullshit, he deserved this. 

Waking up in bed next to Caliborn in their house and sleeping in. Having breakfast that consisted of fucking toaster waffles and orange juice before crawling back into bed to binge watch shitty B movies while they roasted the shit out of the actors. Having lazy, content sex because they said something that made the other laugh so much that they fell to the bed and couldn’t stop kissing. Dirk deserved the calm that had fallen over their relationship, where before it had been fire and spite and constant arguments and break ups and make ups, now they just…

Existed together. Six years and couples counseling could do a lot to a person. Especially after the intervention and the ‘We love you but your relationship is turning toxic, you might need to back out.’

Jealousy had its place, but so did trust. The smart thing would have been to break up and work through their issues separately, but Dirk and Caliborn had woven themselves into each others lives so tightly that by that point it was impossible to do it without the other.

But they weren’t in the past, they were here sitting in Calliope’s yogurt shop while Caliborn yelled at his employees over his phone and Roxy flirted shamelessly with her wife. Dirk swallowed and watched the timer go down. This was going to be the longest minute of his life.

But at least his family was right here with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Can y'all believe how long it's been? How much I've grown as a human creature? How much these idiots have grown as Human Creatures?
> 
> So Calliope still owns her Yogurt shop and has hired several decent employees, she's talking about possibly franchising. Roxy works from home as a youtube star or something, people aren't entirely sure but they know that whatever she does she makes a lot of money. Calliborn, after a great deal of fighting and lawyer wrangling, bought out several of his fathers "Failing business ventures" and turned them around. He's now the proud owner of an off brand UHaul business. Dirk still works at the repair shop part time, but he's focused more on his clothing line now and helped start a physical therapy building closer to Derse.


End file.
